Trying to explain to my Hamiltonians why leaving CSI is so personally devastating, why it’s not just about leaving an office, the best I could come up with is that it’s like my church; it’s my touchstone for community, for values, where I say “yeah, that’s what I believe too, only I didn’t have the words to express it”.
Everything I do in Hamilton is about the neighbourhood, but CSI connects me to the world, and to the future of the world, in a way that I can’t do on my own. It’s like being part of a creature with 180 different antennae, each one trained to analyze and interpret the world differently.
It also helps me to keep things in proportion, to keep me in proportion. Sometimes I feel like I am too big, too much for everyone, and it’s nice to have a daily reminder that I am just one of many. Not sure what that’s about, an immature ego maybe, but sometimes it’s nice to have four walls to contain it.
While my office at CSI is only 10 feet by five feet, my window is 15 feet by 80 feet. Literally and metaphorically, CSI gives me a bigger window on the world that I could have on my own.